Uncle Eddy Speaks Up

Uncle Eddy was not one man, but a composite of all of my uncles who worked the mills and mines of Ohio — in the Cuyahoga and Mahoning Valleys, and the ore docks of Fairport Harbor. I’ve rolled all of their personalities into one: Uncle Eddy. I grew up listening to their grievances, went hunting and fishing with them, learned how to curse and play cards, drink beer, and not shy away from hard dirty labor.

Uncle Eddy’s spirit is still alive in the Mahoning Valley of Ohio, in a small town near Youngstown in the Rust Belt. He lost his job in the steel mills years ago, but he hopes steel will come back. He voted for Trump because Trump promised it would.

From time to time, Eddy shared his thoughts on life. We used to have long phone conversations — you’ll find those in Uncle Eddy Speaks Up.

Then the Grand-kids got him a cell phone, and he started leaving me voicemails. I saved them in Voicemail From Uncle Eddy. Now he’s getting high tech and leaves me full-on posts or Tweets. I never correct the grammar — that would offend him. With Eddy, what you see is what you get.

Monday, 7/16 What’s Considered Treason

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Charlie — man, I don’t know what in hell’s goin’ on.  I seen the Prez and that Putin guy on them speeches and I am just  on the floor.  I know I spout off too much about being a Korea vet, but damn it I was.  I was fightin’ for this country in the mud and snow for 2 years and watchin’ good guys die.  And they was dyin’ in the dirt because them China guys and them Russia guys was givin’ the Korea guys guns and ammo.  And now the Prez wants us to believe them guys is our buddies?   Horse crap, kid, horse crap.  If he’s so ashamed of America why don’t he quit his job and go live in that hotel of his in Russia?

 

Saturday 7/14 Too Much Criticizing Allies

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I seen them talks when Ol’ Trump was in England.  And he’s standing up there like some kind a  king, tellin’ the Prime Minister gal how she’s got the immigration thing all wrong and how it’s gonna bite her in the behind.  Now when I was a kid, Charlie, we went to some old aunt or uncles place and I sees this ugly old couch and says out loud “that couch is ready for the junk heap” and my Ma whacked me on the head a good one, grabbed my ear and pulled me outside.  She says “Eddy, don’t you never go into somebody’s house and tell them it’s ugly cause you don’t know why they live like that and it ain’t none of your business”.   I guess the Prez’s Ma never taught him good like that.

Monday, 7/2 40 Years in the Wilderness

Hi, Kid.  Just a quick thought.  You know I ain’t one of them fancy Bible scholars.  But I do listen up when I goes to Mass – just not often enough.  Anyhow, Father Tony was preaching today about how them Jewish tribe guys gets The Lord pretty ticked off and he tells them they gotta spend 40 years wandering around in the desert.  And that ain’t no fun.  So anyhow, then I come home and see’s this TV clip of ol’ Trumpet and he’s yowling about how whatever the super judge he puts in that big court is gonna serve for 40 years at least.   You think The Lord is punishing the USA?

Friday 6/29 Them Doggone Animal Petitions

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You get that email thing about them China dogs?  Seems like this time of year, they eat up 15,000 dogs.  Some kind of festival deal.  Well I remember when I was a kid fightin’ in Korea,  them guys there ate dogs, too.  It’s a culture thing, kid.  So somebody wants me to sign this petition and send some money to make ‘em stop, but seein’ as how they been eatin’ dogs for hundreds of years I figure they ain’t going to stop.   Then I gets a petition to make office buildings turn down their lights at night cause birds was getting’ confused by them.  Bullcrap!   If half of these people would pay attention to the elections and stuff we might have a better Prez and Congress guys.  People should be worryin’ about other people.

Tuesday, 6/26 Harley-Davidson – Careful What You Wish For

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Well, kid, tell your own kid what lives in Europe not to trade in his Jap bike, cause Harley’s is goin’ up 2 grand cause of them steel tariffs.  Them Harley biggies that rode up to Trumps place to support him is now bitchin’ about it and will close down plants and move some to Europe.  So all them guys who believe ol’ Trump would “make more jobs than anybody’ is findin’ out that he is – over in Europe somewheres.  Sometimes you gets what you wish for – but it’s shoved up your behind.

 

Monday, 6/25 No Due Process

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So I hear the Prez’s tweets on sending them immigrant folks back home without no judges or hearing or nothing else.   Now I’m  an ignorant old mill hand with  no fancy  degrees or such, but even I knows about “due process”.   Here in Ohio you got a right to a trial even if it’s just for friggin’ jay-walking.   It’s in that Constitution that keeps them politicos from screwing us all over.    I’ll tell you, kid, I’m scared that this guy wants to be a absolute king like old Hitler.

 

 

Sunday, 6/24 Too Darn Much Twitter

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You  know how I hates twitter.  So I’m tryin’ to watch the news today, and everything is about twitter.  This one twitter this, that one twittered that.  The prez don’t stand up and look us in the eye too much, he’s sittin’ in the crapper twitterin’ away.  It’s like everybody is important and they think everybody else cares.  Bullcrap!   I’m an old steel guy used to work the coking ovens and why the hell  do I care what them Kardishy  ladies does?

Sunday, 6/24 ICE Raids 5 Ohio Towns

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Hey, Charlie, check your internet.  Them ICE guys goes to 5 Ohio towns around here, and they rounds up 200 Mexico guy’s whats workin’ in them chicken factories.  200!   They scoops ‘em up, and they got them headed back already, leaving their wives and kids behind.  Now what the hell was that all about?  All them guys  what voted for old Trump is probably happy cause’ that’s what he said he’d do.  But you think one of them is gonna clean them chickens for two bucks an hour?   Not me, kid – not me.  Bullcrap.    And now your Aunt Marge will be payin’ a helluva lot more for chicken down at the A&P.  Bullcrap!

Monday, 6/18 Separating Immigrant Families

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I gotta tell ya’, kid.  I don’t know what hell’s level we’re sinkin’ to.  Look, I know the immigrant deal is a big mess – but gimme a break.  Takin’ little kids away from their parents and lockin’ them in cages don’t solve nothing.   Not a damn thing.  And that AG guy gets on TV and he’s quotin’ the Bible about how it says it’s OK to do this, and I figures if the Pope hears this and old Pope he sure knows the Bible and so he’s probably peeing himself.  And if he was allowed to swear he’d be cussin’ just like my old top sergeant cussed.  I think even the Pope gets PO’d sometimes.