Uncle Eddy Versus The Trump Budget

Me:  Uncle Eddy!  Good to hear you.  I got your texts, so I figured I’d call.  I guess this is going to be longer?

Uncle Eddy: Charlie, I been reading that Trump budget and I’m so damned mad I could spit.  My vote has been stolen from me, cause I voted for this crap  and what a damned old fool I was.

Me: Slow down!

Uncle Eddy:  I voted cause I figured working folks would get more jobs, but anybody who’s in bad shape and don’t have no job is going to be in worse shape. He wants to chop 190 billion dollars out of aid for unemployed.   Charlie, nobody out there needs welfare if they’re working.  And that fat ass budget director, Mickey-whoever,who probably ain’t ever worked a day in his life, says it will make people get off their ass and find work.  But, Charlie, there ain’t no work. Zip. Zilch.  You’ve been out of work, kid, I know you have.  You ever wait for a handout?

Me:  Never did, Uncle Eddy.  I guess this is a classic case of the rich thinking the poor are lazy.  That goes back hundreds of years.

Uncle Eddy:  Years-schmears!  I’m talking now.  Some people needs help.  When you put my words on that Reagan cheese giveaway on your web thing, a lotta people read it and tell me I’m right.  Ain’t no way to explain how a man feels when he got to feed his kids by standing in line for a handout, and hope that it’s enough to feed them.  How the hell would someone with a rich daddy – who never done that – know how that feels?  A guy don’t collect no aid unless he’s damn far down on his luck.  It ain’t easy working the mills.  There was always long layoffs. You remember me, old Stan, your old man and Wally we was off months at a time.  No one give a damn, and we was damn glad to get government hand-outs.  Hurt to take it, but I know you remember some skimpy meals, don’t you, kid?

Me: Sadly, Eddy, I do.

Uncle Eddy:  And now these fat asses wanna cut billions out of Medicaid.  Now I got Medicare, and I thank God for it.  But them as got no money, either get Medicaid or maybe die.  Maybe the fat cats figure if enough poor people die they’ll save even more.  But them Wall Street guys get a tax break because of this.

Me:  Eddy, look.  This is only what the President wants to happen.  Congress still has to vote on it.  And I think – I hope – that any politician stupid enough to vote for this will get his fanny bounced out of office come the 2018 elections.   That is, if enough older people get off their asses and vote.

Uncle Eddy:  I hope you’re right, kid.  This time around, no one is stealing Eddy’s vote with damned lies.


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